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Created on 2012-03-07 01:35:52 (#1530484), never updated

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Birthdate:Jul 1
(This profile is made possible through the aid of a page on Clouseau Speech.)

"Good evening, I am Inspector Clouseau of the Surete... I am leuking for a man who- ...what?"

I said, you're suppose to tell them about yourself.

"Yes, I kneuw that... I kneuw that! Now, let me see... Ah! I have been on the force for quite seume time. There is...seume question of my boss' opinion of me. But he cannot deny my value as an officer of the leu or my incrahdible instincts-"

I'm sorry, what?


You said you were an...'officer of the leu'?

"Yes, the leu."

The 'law'?

"Yes, that is what I've been saying, you fool!"

*Sigh* Maybe I'd better take over.

"Swine narrator..."

Inspector Jacques Clouseau (sometimes Chief Inspector, depending on Dreyfus' condition) is a French Policeman famous for his debacle with the Pink Panther Diamond, which in turn has been known for how very often it's been stolen. He is a light-skinned male with dark hair and a defining moustache. His accent is rather heavy, sometimes incomprehensible even to other Frenchmen. He is physically capable as a person, quick and agile, but ultimately clumsy and also overestimating his strength and abilities at times. The sheer amount of examples are endless, though in some cases it might seem like the world conspires against him as a Rule of Funny. Clouseau is known to often wear a trenchcoat and hat over a very nice suit, preferring a certain plainclothes-over-formal-attire look while on the job. He generally makes use of robes and more casual wear at his apartment...dodging Cato attacks, of course.

It may seem as though Clouseau is simultaneously indestructible and very prone to disaster all at once, a very thin line to walk on and trip, but never quite fall. Dependent on the situation, he may be bold and condescending, panicked and angry, witty and (unfortunately) singing... He basically believes his own hype a bit. He is a great man trying to do his duty for the 'leu' and must let nothing stand in his way...such as logic or physics. It's assumed that he has all the proper training to BE on the force, including the operation of a gun and other instruments of police work. He is also skilled at karate and constantly warding off his Chinese friend and apparent servant, Cato Fong. Cato must be considered an ally, but...not always. He is also skilled at other weapons, sort of, though his real talent appears to be both in being lucky and foolish all in one.

Another important resource is that of Professor Auguste Balls, owner of the Great Balls of Fire shop of disguises, which are...the source of many of Clouseau's ridiculous getups. He is actually quoted as being their greatest customer. So, if you see a curious electrician or a salty Swedish sea dog, or Quasimoto...that resembles a certain French know why. Apparently, they DO work on people, but not always. Sometimes, it's just a case of being too ridiculous to tell him just how much of a goof he looks. Still, this is the man and he will appear at various parts of his movies...and then after, because he's just too good to drop. Okay, Inspector. Now, say it just like I told you.

"Very well. Inspector Clouseau is from The Pink Panther meuvies and A Shot in the Dark, but only if the role is played by one Peter Selleurs. This is the property of Blake Edwards and associated peursons. I appahr here solely for the peurpose of the role-playing in [community profile] milliways_bar, from which no profit whatsoever is being made. And we shall meet again when the case is sol-ved."

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